Three Abortions and Clueless Parents

Dear Readers:

My sister has a roommate who recently shared the story of a close Muslim friend of hers that had three abortions previously; I will call my sister’s roommate Sabat and this close Muslim friend of her roommate’s Nadira. Apparently, Nadira had made a request to Sabat for the amount of four-hundred dollars to have another abortion. Sabat was looking for advice from my sister as to whether she should give the said amount of money to Nadira, which is why Sabat revealed the story of her friend Nadira to my sister. From what Sabat divulged of Nadira’s background, Nadira comes from a well-to-do family and does not (on the surface at least) lack for anything in the world. My sister had occasion to meet the mother of Nadira at an iftaar party, and my sister discerned that Sabat was right about Nadira’s mother: Nadira’s mother lives in a world of oblivion, ignorant of her daughter’s present unwanted pregnancy and lifestyle choices that made status quo possible. And Nadira’s father is too busy in his role as a bread-winner of the family to heed the goings-on in the life of his own children. In the desi community, the parents of Nadira are snickered and looked down upon behind their backs, but these parents still have no clue about this matter as it pertains to their daughter. After living in the U.S., not much shocks me. But this did shock me. How can any parents be that oblivious to their children’s behavior outside of the home? And though this is a perhaps an extreme example of children behaving in less than desirable manner (an understatement) without their parents’ knowledge, I have to wonder whether cultural or religious values and knowledge were dispensed in this case to the offspring.

I wish to mention that I did not use the real names of the people that I am writing about. However, I deliberately chose the particular name Nadira to represent the girl whom I am referring to because it means “unique.” However, we should all realize by now that these types of cases in the desi community are no longer as “unique” as we would like to believe, which is why the name stands an intended pun within this real-life story. And though I had intended to present more instances to solidify my case against wishy-washy morality in our present generation of desi community, I refrained from doing so because I did not know how I would incorporate these stories into the wider question that I have on morality of this generation. So, though I am not going to present more cases right now, I might have more on the subject in a future post. For now, you are free to take this post with a grain of salt, but I would like you to contemplate some on the subject as I am sure I will.

Sincerely,
Ek Umeed

P.S. Since I am not sure exactly where I am going with this post, I pose a question to you: To what extent are parents responsible for ingraining in their children cultural and religious knowledge and values? And to what extent do the children shoulder the responsibility for the choices they eventually make? (By the way, thanks for taking the time to respond to my earlier posting, and realize that I have responded to each of your remarks in the comments' section of that posting.)

25 Little Nothings That Gives A Peak Into Me and My World

..Dear Readers:

Though many of you read your favorite blogs regularly (or at least try to) and perhaps have stumbled recently onto my blog by accident or invite, I wonder how many of you really know the people you visit the blogs of; I am referring to the “real” people behind the screen typing away their thoughts, passions, and life’s idiosyncrasies. So, just to demystify myself somewhat to my audience as a blogger, I shall share with you 25 little nothings:


1. I am: vivacious, yet reserved, and compassionate, empathetic, sincere, and faithful.


2. To me, blogging means: being creative in penning your stories and/or analysis, being expressive about your life experiences, and giving your readers a window to your soul and/or mindset.

3. My first crush: was when I was six; I thought I would be singing Bollywood songs with one cute and macho-wannabe eleven-year old boy, and live happily-ever-after. Alas, there was no happily-ever-after. (Sighs.)

4. My family is: my world, and the reason I smile.

5. I could die for: my family.



6. I am superstitious about: the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach and “evil eye.”



7. I don’t like people who are: habitual liars, hypocrites, misanthropes, misogynists, abusers, betrayers, leeches, sycophants, phonies, and lechers.



8. I am scared about: dying before I live my dreams, and losing my family.



9. I would probably scream if I saw: creepy-crawlies, and shadows in the dark.



10. My favorite cuisine is: Indian, Italian, Greek, and Middle Eastern.



11. If I could be any animal, I would be: a bird because I want to fly, and I envy them the freedom that I imagine they have of building their nests where they will. Oh, to be free! Glorious indeed!


12. My best qualities are: my ability to be there for someone no matter what, capacity for unconditional love, sense of humor, wittiness, sharp dressing sense, and nurturing nature.

13. My worst qualities are: my moodiness, temper, oversensitiveness, indecisiveness, propensity towards procrastination, and lack of organizational skills.

14. I hope to improve upon: my lack of mastery over elocution, and timeliness.


15. What most people don’t know about me is: I prefer to call myself spiritual rather than religious and that I am goal-oriented; and I am likely to forgive anything for a box of chocolates, flowers or any such thoughtful gesture or gift. (Sentimental fool, I know!)

16. My favorite actor is: nobody, honestly; I do like certain actors, but it is not for their acting ability, for sure. (Hint: I like them for their _ _ _ _ _. Got it? Looks!)


17. My favorite actress is: Rani Mukherjee; I love her charismatic on-screen presence, and the warmth and welcome she seems to exude in her every smile. I also find her a superb actress, one of the finest in Bollywood. A “rani” (“queen”) indeed!


18. The quote that I find most funny is: the one oft found written behind the backs of trucks in India, “Buri nazar wale, tera muh kala.” [Translation: “Evil eye bearers, may your face be blackened with soot.”]

19. The quote that I find most inspirational is: Anais Nin’s thought, “Dreams are necessary to life.”


20. The quote that I find true to life is: Albert Einstein’s words, “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”


21. My pet peeves are: people forgetting important occasions such as birthdays or not giving enough importance to the significant dates in the first place, and sheer idiocy of people in general.

22. My secret is: (Hey, if I told you my secret, then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore!)


23. I like to wear: casual outfits such as comfy pajamas, jeans, shirts; but sometimes, I like to dress in extremely fancy outfits as lahengas, especially at desi weddings.


24. My dream wedding would be: on a beach with nobody but our families as witnesses to the holy matrimony. My hubby-to-be (whoever the unlucky guy is) and I would make a commitment to each other with the “nikah” recitation done by an Imam amidst our professions of, “Kabul hai” (“I accept”). Of course, that will remain a dream because I have a host of relatives and my mother would not let me do “man-maani” (“what I desire in my willfulness”) in this matter. (Sighs.)

25. My dream is: (I will reveal it to you when I achieve it. Otherwise, I am likely to sound like a dreamy fool.)


Sincerely,
Ek Umeed

P.S. I came up with these questions on my own and with inspiration from observing and reading umpteen times previously the usual format of questions asked in interviews of celebrities. So, now that I am done with the deal, I would like to say thanks to you all for visiting my blog, and writing your comments. I hope to see you back for more! I strongly believe that the quality of a blog is determined not by its writing, however good or bad it may be, but the quality of its readership. And therefore, I owe you my hearty thanks, for you all are indeed excellent!